I miss that feeling I used to get every time you would message me

It was a unique feeling

It was a rush

I remember that after a long day the thought of being able to talk to you would put a smile on my face

I was excited

I was alive for every conversation

I was never distracted when talking to you

Nothing was more important to me and you had all my attention

I don’t do that anymore

Actually, I never did that

I remember messaging you at night,  you would stay awake just for me

I once told you that I’m scared that if I talk to you a lot, I will end up falling for you and I’m scared of falling for you.

You laughed and told me there is no harm in liking someone

You were right, no harm except the fact that I now want no one but you and you are someone else’s.

 

 

 

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Do you remember when we would hang out at school?

You had a one hour break and class right after whereas I would stay back after classes so I could spend that one hour with you

Initially we were shy

You and I would look at other people while talking to each other

I don’t know about you but when our friend pointed that out, I felt like we were sort of adorable

We had spent so much time with each other yet, that thing was still there.

That um attraction that creates the shyness.

….

 

.

So I’m going to write about you

Every memory

Every word

Every look

I’ve kept it in a box and left it somewhere

I’m scared that opening the box might make me weak

But

Maybe it’ll heal me, give me closure

I hope this helps me let you go

Then again

Idk if I really want to

What we had was way too deep for me to want to let go